Being a parent changes things. It changes where your heart resides. It changes how you spend your time. It changes your motivation. But, most of all it changes how you see and understand the world.
I believe that parents, overwhelmingly, want the absolute best for their children. Parents want to do right by their kids. But truthfully, none of us are able to. I agonize and wrestle over decisions for what to do for my girl knowing that what I want to, and what I believe is best is not an option on the table.
So, for all those with parents: please understand that your parents tried to do the best for you and that they are deeply sorry that they couldn't. They had to work, or couldn't get you into the daycare that they wanted to. They pushed you because they thought it was best or didn't discipline you because they didn't think they should. They set demands based on the desire that you succeed. They let things slide because they were tired, overspent, preoccupied, or choosing their battles. But, your parents loved you and they tried.
I know that we all have "issues" because of our parents. But, being a parent opens my eyes to the difficulty of parenting. So, when you talk to your therapist or look at the history of your life, offer grace to your parents. It is not an easy task. We are given no manual. And, we try and we work and we want to, with all our hearts, do what is best for our children.
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