Innocent as Doves

Having children changes everything... but everyone knows that.  What I didn't expect was some of the ways it would change me.

My 2 year old picks up on everything.  If you are having a conversation in a different room, she may interject because she was actually listening, while playing or looking at books.  She uses phrases and  I have no idea where she heard them.  Her latest is, "That's it.  We're going on an adventure!"  Perhaps she learned it from "Little Bear", one of the most delightful TV shows I have ever watched.  Little Bear's world is, to me, a picture of heaven.  Delicious food, friends, talking animals, no pain, and every day is a wonderful adventure.  I want my kids to live in that kind of a world.

My husband comes home and shares stories of teaching.  He is a high school teacher in one of the most failing schools in the state.  Periodically they go into lock down because of a shooting in the neighborhood.  Once he was told to go home early and send his kids home because there was a funeral of a gang member and concerns of violence and retaliation.  His students live in a world that is the antithesis of Little Bear's world.

When I was growing up I found myself very critical of the people who decided to totally shield their children from the world.  These people were a bit extreme to me - homeschooling their children, limiting what they watched and listened to, or where they went.  Preventing their teens from going to the mall or an amusement park.  Limiting their activities to church or religious functions.  Now I look at my beautiful, intelligent children who take everything in and I look at the outside world and I find myself wanting to totally shelter them.  I want them to only know beauty and kindness, virtue and love, creativity and safety.

I was reflecting on the scripture Matthew 10:16 where Jesus says, "I am sending you out like sheep among wolves.  Therefore be as wise as serpents and innocent as doves."  I want the innocent as doves part for my children, but what about the wise as serpents?

How do I raise children who are shrewd and harmless, wise and innocent?

Someday my articulate little girl will use a word that I never wanted her to hear.  She will ask about a violent event, death, suffering.  She will see something dark and horrific.  She will know, not just good, but also evil.  The entire world is broken... education, disease, death, the way we care for our planet, economic disparity, abuse, murder, violence and the list goes on and on and on.  I want my children to have a magical childhood, but it is my job to help them be, not just innocent, but also wise.

Because... I don't want soft and fragile children.  I want children who are dangerous to evil; who find purpose and meaning in building rather than tearing down.  I want them to risk, to know how to handle failure, disappointment, their own weaknesses.  I want them to stand bright and strong, secure and powerful so that this world is better because of them.

I truly believe that whatever you want your children to be, you must become... so how do I become the kind of woman I want them to emulate?  How do I become wise and innocent, shrewd and harmless?  How do I become a beacon of light who is dangerous to evil?