Poverty

I have been avoiding blogging for a variety of reasons, including time, circumstances, and energy level.  A friend asked me to blog about inner healing, which I will start doing soon.  But, today my focus is on another topic, a topic that is more controversial than any other topic I have blogged about.  I can hear some of your thoughts on this entry and your angry disagreement, but this subject is consuming my mind, heart, and life:

Poverty.

Life sometimes goes down unexpected roads... difficult roads that leave us feeling lost, abandoned, and having to face tremendous hardship.  There is very little in this world (America) that causes more stress than money.

Proverbs states wisely:
“Two things I ask of you, Lord;
    do not refuse me before I die:
Keep falsehood and lies far from me;
    give me neither poverty nor riches,
    but give me only my daily bread.
Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you
    and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’
Or I may become poor and steal,
    and so dishonor the name of my God

Give me neither poverty nor riches...

I used to think that money was tight.  We had a budget that didn't allow for extravagances, but it did allow us to live modestly and comfortably.  We ate out at restaurants periodically, could pay for a babysitter a few times a month, and were able to meet not only our needs, but also some things that we wanted (like the occasional game, music, or movie purchase). 

I used to think that money was tight... but I had no idea what that really means.

Now I do.

It is embarrassing to be a self-sufficient career person who has worked for over a decade and to suddenly be very very poor - like one minimum wage income for a family of three poor.  Yet this is where we find ourselves, taking in far less money than we need to pay.  My husband works 8-10 hour days for half day pay.  Every time I try to find work something gets in the way - being 7 months pregnant doesn't make people want to hire you, or childcare falls through, or the rules for certification are too convoluted, or ....

What do you do when your bills far exceed your income?  How do you find value and humanity in an untenable situation? 

Needless to say, this experience is expanding and changing my perspective on poverty, and is also demanding a sort of creativity I have not had to employ before.

I have had many debates (normally centered around political issues) about "the poor" - people who "live off the system".  One of the many complaints I have heard goes something like this: "I see these people paying for food with a food stamps card and their nails and hair are done and they are using an iphone."  The implication is simply - professionally done nails and hair and iphones are a total extravagance that people who don't have enough money have no right to.

What if "those people" have friends and neighbors that do their hair and nails for free - or for bartered services?  What if they are paying for the service?  Do other humans deserve things that give them dignity and make them feel like they have value when according to society they have no value?  Should poor women look bad and disheveled in order to justify their poverty?  In an era where smart phones are the primary way of connecting with the world, should people be cut off from human interaction?

Do you know how demoralizing it is to have nothing?  I don't mean having little, I mean having nothing... and no hope that your situation will change.  Have you ever been so despondent about your financial situation that life became a constant battle to get out of bed each day?  Do you know what it is like to look at job postings and realize that you are not qualified for the job, or they don't want to hire you, or it won't pay enough money to even cover the cost of childcare?

Do you know what it is like for a husband to work very hard to build a life for his family, to get out of debt, to save for a house, only to realize that he is not providing the basic needs for his wife and children?  Do you know the situation and circumstances of someone who is below the poverty line and trying to make it?

We have this idea in America that if you are below the poverty line it is your own fault or you are lazy - clearly you made bad choices and now you have to live with the consequences.  We also believe that if you are doing well financially it is because you are a hard worker, you have sacrificed and made wise choices.  Even if we don't entirely believe this to be true, we have internalized a sense that if you work hard you will be fine.  We believe this is a christian perspective - we call it "the protestant work ethic".  We quote scriptures (2 Thess 3:10) that say things like: The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat. We have seen people live off the system, lazy people who are unwilling to work.  Do you know how much work it takes just to get into the system and to get even a meager amount?

What about quality of life?  What quality of life does someone have who "lives off the system"?  Would you want their life? their existence?  Would you want things to be so far out of your control?

And what of choices and grace?

Did you know that most americans, no matter how much they earn, are living paycheck to paycheck?  I have a friend who will never earn less that $150K a year.  He has not completed college, he had a stint of doing drugs and making very bad and foolish decisions.  He is a very hard worker.  He also plays very hard.  I got a college degree.  I have worked hard and consistently for over a decade.  I began working when I was a child.  I have tried to be wise about money for my entire life.  I have developed good credit.  I never did drugs, never partied.  In fact, I made a choice to give up my job because I thought it was in the best interest of my family, and I believed it was the direction God was moving me....

Where is the grace?

You know what is amazing... in the midst of all this stress, worry, and anxiety about money God is still present.  He is still providing (although his provision seems to be far from what I think it should be).  Each month we have paid our bills and been able to eat because family has been willing to help us some.  We are not homeless because of the generosity of family.  Twice my husband has been loaned a car exactly when we needed it.  I have been able to teach some lessons and earn our grocery money.  Last month I was able to substitute teach for 6 days which, when I get paid in May, will help carry us through the month of our baby's birth.

Grace is there.  It is present and it is needed.

I think about the debt we owe to God, the debt of sin.  I think about all the ways humanity has destroyed what God has given.  How we have created systems that exploit others and keep people suppressed.  I think about the ways we destroy others with our words, with our actions, with our lack of love.  I contemplate how often we believe we have gotten ourselves where we are.  I think about all the ways sin has infected creation - the earth, sickness, disease, suffering, pain, depression, etc.  We owe God a debt that we cannot possibly repay.

But God doesn't keep us in bondage.  Through the redemptive, restorative work of Christ, God sets us free.  If it were not for his grace we would be far more destitute in our souls than the poorest person in the world.

Praise God for grace!  Praise God for hope!  Praise God for Jesus!