I grew up in the church... and when I say this I really mean it. From my first week of life until I left Wyatt Park I spent hours each week at church. The only reason we stayed home on a Sunday was if we were vomiting. I remember being in the balcony when I was four years old with chicken pox. The balcony was my quarantine space while my mother directed a children's musical.
My mother was a church musician and children's pastor, my father was an elder and Sunday school teacher. Then as an adult I got involved as an overactive volunteer and finally worked full time in a church. In addition to spending hours on Sundays and holidays, we were also at church often two other days of the week for studies, or programs, or rehearsals. I had never experienced what it is like to go to church for an hour long service on a Sunday and then leave. My entire Sunday was taken up with church....
Until now....
A major cultural shift in "regular" church attendance has occurred over the past couple decades. When I was a child "regular" meant every week. We would even bring bulletins from churches we visited if we were out of town, so that we could have perfect attendance for Sunday school. Now "regular" means at least once a month. Normally about twice a month, but not weekly.
As a pastor I tried to understand this more, to figure out how to encourage people to attend weekly.
Now I understand the other side.
I don't spend enough time with my husband. Since moving to Seattle he spends 10-14 hours a day working, except on weekends. He leaves the house before 6:00 am and sometimes I don't see him until 8:00 pm. My husband is my closest friend and the person I want to spend time with more than anyone else. I hate how little we see of each other.
Saturdays are often spent decompressing from the week. My husband sleeps in and tries to "shake off the dust of the week" - the stress and anxiety. It takes him all day to accomplish this which means it is not actually a very restful day. Then comes Sunday.
Sunday is a wonderful day for doing something as a family. We sleep in a little late, have breakfast together, go on outings, explore the city, go to the mall to play and drink tea. Then we have afternoon nap time for the baby and my husband and I get to spend a few hours together talking or playing a game.
We haven't yet gotten busy with lots of weekend kid activities, but if we had those... oh my goodness... our time together would become even more sacred.
I believe Church is important - not because I am a person who works in the church - but because I am a person who needs connection to others and most especially to God. I am capable of connecting with Him each day, but truthfully, there is something about worship music and a good message that feeds my soul in a different and important way. Each time I go I encounter the Living God and he has been speaking to me through the songs and the message.
But I have to admit Sunday has changed for me...
My husband and I have started attending a 6:00 pm service. There are no parking problems, we get a day to hang out and relax, we don't have to worry about nap time being missed, we arrive on time and leave after the service. And, there is no childcare for this particular service, so we get to worship with our 15 month old. Then we go home, put the baby to sleep and finish the evening together.
Now for my point - I understand why church attendance has changed. I understand that there are things that are sacred besides going to church - like rest and time with loved ones. But, I still believe going to church is important and has a tremendous amount of value.
I believe life is about rhythm - periods of sound and times of rest; keeping a fairly steady beat in our lives; following patterns that give our lives a musical quality of beauty and predictability (though sometimes the excitement is in the sudden unexpected changes in mood, tempo, or pattern). Unfortunately in our culture our lives easily loose the rhythm. They become cacophonous - noisy, constantly moving forward, atonal, like something you cannot predict or dance to.
Life needs rhythm. And for us, part of that rhythm is dropping what we are doing at 5:30 so that we can get ready and go to church. We have carved out time - a measly hour and a half (maybe two) when we include getting a diaper bag ready, driving, and the service. This time is a break that refocuses our eyes and our week. Its partly about discipline - going when we don't want to, continuing in the rhythm even when we want to break free and start a different song. Its also about flowing into the Rhythm of a huge global community that transcends time - entering into the Song of the Spirit for long enough to refocus.
We have chosen a time to attend church that makes sense for the rhythm of our lives. At this point I am a more passive participant in the life of the church, but there is value in that too. And, this is a specific season where my focus is small - my little family.
In the future I will write more about my observations of church from the perspective of someone not super involved. I am gaining a perspective that I have never had before... a perspective that would be helpful for more pastors to understand.
As life becomes busier with work and kids activities, I believe that maintaining the pattern of church is going to be hugely important. I miss something if I don't go - like a song that has skipped a very important cadence, but I also understand why it is very hard to make it a weekly habit.
I want to be a part of something bigger than myself - something grander than my city and more glorious than an hour on Sunday. I want to be a part of something transcendent, eternal, beautiful, true, and much much bigger than my own life. I want to be caught up in the same dance that brought stars and planets, suns and galaxies into existence. I want to experience the rhythm that so many have danced to for centuries. And to do that, I might just keep attending Church.
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